I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
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