I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
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