Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
