i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
