My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
