So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
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hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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