This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
