i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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