WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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