so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
PANTIES FOUND
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