i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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