we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
