Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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