At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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