She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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