"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
