someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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