i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize