I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
