Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
