why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
