OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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