is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Randomize
