Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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