just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
