I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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