garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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