i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
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that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
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The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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