Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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