Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
