Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
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I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
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She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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