Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
