My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
