You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
