So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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