Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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