Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I got her a Nickelback box set.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
