went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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