I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
