I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
