I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
