Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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