I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
