i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize