I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
