Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
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