what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
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not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
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"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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