At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
