let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
My dick has a subreddit
and you fell through a lawn chair
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
