A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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