Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
