If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
How's work?
Spinning.
You took a bar mat shot.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
