Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
