worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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