My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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