Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Randomize
