Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
