so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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