Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
