he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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