with your own penis?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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